I plan to keep this simple and to the point because not only am I horrible at saying goodbye, but I never enjoy reading sappy material. 

This year has been a major turning point in my life for several reasons.  I have developed both as a writer and as a person, and both changes are clearly evident within this blog.  However, this entry is not directed toward any regular readers, but rather, to each and every person who has decided to become a part of my life within this year.

I have had the opportunity to get to know many people over the course of this year; people who I would have otherwise never had the chance to meet.  Thank you for reaching out and accepting me, and showing kindness despite my prevailing negative attitude and the dark aura that seemed to hover constantly over my head.  It must be tough living with Eyore, but I appreciate the effort to help me break out of my shell and all of your attempts at raising my spirits.  When you guys are gone, I will have to re-learn how to stand on my own, without the loving crutches that you allowed me to rely on.  Despite the fact that I have difficulty connecting with other people on an emotional level, I find myself attached to you guys in a way that I had never thought possible.  I would appreciate it if you guys all continued to keep in contact with me and remained my companions for at least a little bit longer.

For the first time this year, I released my inhibitions and allowed people to enter my heart.  Sometimes my heart was treated with care, sometimes it was jostled around, sometimes it was passed on like a hackey-sack, and sometimes it was broken to pieces.  However, just like a clay cup, occasionally an object must be broken in order to strengthen it.  Thank you to those of you who searched the ground for the broken pieces, who spent long hours, day and night, attempting to assemble them the way they were, and to the few people who realized that although some pieces were missing, it was possible to put it back together in a different way.  It still beats with love and passion unlike that which I’ve felt before, however the cracks and seams make it the unique object that it has become.  Because of each and every one of you, my heart is forever changed. 

To those who noticed when something went wrong: Thank you.  I used to consider myself a decent actor, able to hide certain things from the people around me.  This year, my act faltered slightly, and although it was clear that I was not as strong as I had once been, very few people noticed the inability to function that slowly consumed my unwavering stoic attitude.  Even fewer people actually cared.  And only one or two tried to fix it.  It is thanks to you that I am alive at this point.  I made it.  Hooray?

All in all, I just wanted to say that I will miss being here with you guys, despite the fact that I am FULLY ready to leave.  Please, please, pretty please don’t forget me.  I have been changed by you, mostly for the better, but absolutely for good.  I am now and always will be yours, and you will all be a part of me.  Good luck in the future, and enjoy the rest of your lives.  To the people who taught me how to love:  Goodbye.

For the record, never, ever again am I writing something that revoltingly mushy.

I would first like to take the time to wish everyone a happy new year.  This past year has been interesting, to say the least.  I’m hoping that 2009 will be quite a bit less interesting, and a little bit more normal.  Perhaps life will get a little bit less hectic.  But probably not.

This entry is dedicated to two people, Cassandra and Ruby, for introducing me to a new medium and allowing me to be cheap.

I have recently fallen into a slump regarding my reading.  I haven’t stopped reading altogether, but my choice in books has become somewhat less sophisticated, while at the same time, far more advanced on another level.  I have been redirecting my attention from Possession and Wuthering Heights to a far more entertaining and artistic form of literary expression: Graphic novels.

Since childhood, I’ve always had a tendency to read comic books and graphic novels in my free time, but hardly ever did these light-hearted adventures replace reading complicated books.  I enjoyed the occasional Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Batman, Archie comic, and even Japanese Manga, but I would always continue with my Of Mice and Men, Catch 22, Mark Twain, and all that jazz.  It was not until recently that I realized the extent that graphic novels affected my reading habits. 

I am currently reading both Watchmen and V for Vendetta, conceived from the ingenious mind of Alan Moore.  I have Maus and The Spirit waiting on my desk for me to finish my current tasks.  Although reading these graphic novels is not the same as classic literature, the specific novels that I am reading provide the mind with insightful ideas, and kindling for future thoughts. 

Watchmen is set in the 1980s, and provides an alternate reality for the United States.  It follows the lives of retired superheroes, but shows them in a light that we may not be used to.  When I think back to my old comic book days, I think of Batman in a positive light.  He used his intellect to fight crime, and never possesed any superhuman gifts.  If I were to imagine Batman as a real person, however, I would realize that he was simply an odd little man who ran around the streets of Gotham at night in leotards.  It is this perspective that is somewhat portrayed in Watchmen.  On top of that, each character within Watchmen has a unique mindset, and the reader has the opportunity to see the world through several twisted perspectives of costumed adventurers.  Watchmen is a psychological masterpiece that had me absolutely captivated from the first frame, with twisting side-plots that intermingle and overlap at perfect moments.  Kudos to Time Magazine for voting it one of the 100 best novels. 

V for Vendetta has a similar feel to Watchmen, but is an entirely new entity.  Written in the nineteen eighties, V for Vendetta takes place in the ‘future’, the 1990s, where United Kingdom is run by a totalitarian government.  Dressed in a Guy Fawkes mask and often seen with a dark billowing cape and hat, “V” is a radical anarchist bent on destroying the government that suppresses him.  V for Vendetta shows what the human spirit can achieve while fighting against powerful oppression and for what is right. 

Both of these graphic novels have compelling plots and delve into human psychology in a unique fashion, but that is not the only reason why I have been converted to the world of comics.  The art of graphic novels, specifically Watchmen and V for Vendetta, is constructed in a way that enriches the story to an extent that simply cannot be achieved by text alone.  David Lloyd’s conservative panel layout in V for Vendetta gave the book a completely different feel than it would have had if the layout varied between the pages.  This format also allowed Lloyd to emphasize certain scenes by having the layout drastically change periodically.  In Watchmen, Dave Gibbons has taken an entirely different approach.  The layout is constantly changing, as well as how the pictures fit into each panel.  Sometimes the panels are individual and unrelated, and sometimes they may depict an entire scene between three different panels.  This specific layout enables Gibbons to give the reader perspective of size and depth; it’s hard to show a city scape in a tiny rectangle, but you don’t want a picture of one person’s face taking up an entire page. 

In summary, V for Vendetta and Watchmen are fantastic graphic novels, but they have a depth to them that simply can’t be found with Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead.  However, the graphic novels that I have mentioned are not only for avid comic book collectors and geeks; I have clearly shown how someone looking for a powerful read can put down their novels and pick up these comic books.  So even if you have never read a graphic novel in your life, or if you read them on a daily basis, try reading V for Vendetta or Watchmen.  You can even try Maus or The Spirit, and tell me what you thought of them.  Whatever you decide, I hope that I have somehow affected your decision.  After all, this took a while to write.

**Edit:  Please excuse the atrocious spelling that previously dominated this entry.  My spell-check was broken, and my editing skills were not up to par due to a lack of sleep and concentration.  It’s all better now.  Thanks Kat.

This entry is dedicated to anyone reading right now.  Whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate during the holiday season, have a happy holiday, or a nice break from the stress of every day life.  Everyone deserves a little down time, so don’t push yourself too hard.

The days of December seem to be rolling by at an alarming rate, catching all the people who lack internal clocks off guard.  Around this time of year, it’s the people like me who tend to fall into the gloom and doom of having forgotten to acquire presents for the people who we are close with.  With shopping malls crowded and stores sold out of anything half decent, an appropriate gift is hard to come by at this time of year.  After much thought and consideration, and realizing how few days there actually are until Christmas, I have decided to take a different route than I usually go.  I have changed my plans for the holidays.

Understand that not all my friends are Christian.  In fact, very few of them actually celebrate Christmas.  I don’t even celebrate Christmas.  However, I have always been unusually keen on the concept of giving and Christmas cheer, and the hum and glow all around me as I walk the streets at night doesn’t help much to defer the sensation.  You can always tell when Christmas is around the corner by seeing the smiles on people’s faces.  If people randomly help you out in a store, on the streets, at the subway or in a shopping mall, without any clear underlying intention, then there is a high chance that they have been infected with this ‘cheer’ as well.  I can’t complain, to be completely honest.  Around Christmas time is when I get to see human nature at its best.  I’m not saying that anybody truly acts ‘good’; I am simply saying that everyone tends to be a little bit better at this time of year.  Food banks flood with food, hampers are delivered to families who can’t afford Christmas Dinner, and toys are given to kids who otherwise wouldn’t get any.  These tell-tale signs of Christmas have the ability to bring up my mood, no matter what.  And it is for this reason that I have a tendency to get gifts for the people around me, whether it’s a family that desperately needs it, a child who can’t afford it, or a spoiled rich kid in the highest financial situation possible in this city [A friendly shout-out to my cousins.  I still love you guys]. 

But what about this year?  With the economy failing, the environment deteriorating, my wallet thinning, and the time flying away, how can I manage to purchase all the gifts that usually accompany the Christmas season?  My answer was simple.  But nobody liked it, so I changed it again.  At first, I considered simply ignoring the urge to give presents this Christmas, and be a miserly Scrooge until people forgot about Christmas altogether–This usually occurs around Valentine’s day.  However, I needed to consider the fact that it is extremely impolite to show up to a party empty-handed, and the fact that me being a Scrooge would imply that a child in this city would not get a present this Christmas.  Because of me.  Those two facts combined allowed me to formulate my fool-proof Christmas plan.  So here goes:  My plan for the holiday season.

Cookies.  I am not an exceptional baker.  In fact, my baking often leads to accidents occurring within the kitchen that could easily have been avoided had I not attempted to use the oven.  That is not to say that I do not love baking.  Mostly, my heart lies within cooking, which is something that I am slightly more competent at.  I can make decent tasting dinners without any recipes, and I like the feeling of being allowed to add any amount of anything I want.  Baking is different.  I need a recipe, or whatever I make is liable to explode.  However, this is all irrelevant information.  Despite my lack of baking skills, I have decided that the best bet for Christmas this year is cookies.  After all, everyone loves cookies.

For each party I go to, I will bring a tray of homemade cookies, followed with a brief explanation of why the cookies were better for the environment in the long-run and why serving cookies at the party is better than having the useless gift that is usually given to the host.  With that, I receive a friendly smile and an introduction, with the host saying how my concern for the environment makes me such a wonderful person.  Nothing will be mentioned about the fact that I was cheap and that my savings were unaffected by this gift of mine. 

For each person that I usually give gifts to, they will also receive cookies and an explanation.  Their explanation may include a home-made card, a cookie tin or a donation of some sort.  Once again, I will mention the environment, and perhaps the economic situation, and emphasize the fact that this is really a win-win type of gift. 

I will continue to donate toys to toy drives.  I feel that my home-made cookies may not be suitable for children under twelve years of age.  Not if you want them to survive until next Christmas.  On top of that, I feel that if I have the ability to make their holidays bright and cheery, why not?  Like I mentioned at the beginning, Christmas cheer is contagious at this time of year.

Alas, my holiday this year will be cheap, and will not involve long lines at stores or waiting for items that may not even be in stock.  It will not involve searching endlessly for the perfect gift for special someones nor will it involve endless hours of searching for parking spots.  All I need to make this holiday season pleasant is a little bit of out-of-character ‘love and care’.  With everything said and done, this Christmas is probably going to be one of the best.  Because Christmas is not about the gift, it’s about the idea of giving.   …  Wow.  That was cheesy.

Recently, I had the opportunity to attempt to convince a small group of people to read any one of my favourite books.  I had decided upon a book that is near and dear to my heart due to its excruciating humor and descriptive language.  This author has the uncanny ability to both entertain an audience and challenge them intellectually, and it is for that reason why I think that everyone should read this book.  The following is the speech that I made, albeit shaking from fear the whole time, to my small audience. 

What if the world blew up? No, I don’t mean figuratively. I mean literal, erratic planetary combustion. Kablooey.

Hello, my name is Argon, and I’m advocating for Douglas Adams’ novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

If you’re looking for a book with an intricate plotline and suspense that keeps you on the edge of your seat from page to page, has a beautifully romantic side plot that makes your heart beat faster as the book progresses, and has hidden subliminal messages, symbols and plot details within the pages, then this is not the right book for you.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a hilarious take on the Science Fiction universe that will keep you laughing, or at least grinning, until the end of the book. Any one reading The Guide is sure to get a kick out of it, with its ludicrous concepts and ridiculous characters.

Among the two-headed president of the galaxy; an overzealous computer named Eddy; Marvin, the depressed robot; enthusiastic doors; an infinite improbability drive; Vogon poetry that is second in horridness only to Earth’s poetry; evil mice; planet building races; a pot of petunias; a hyperspace bypasses; the answer to life, the universe and everything; and a book that can teach you to make a mean Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster… SOMEWHERE among all those things, is a book that delves into the science fiction realm and attempts to explain our existence.

Welcome to The Guide.

Vote for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and remember, Don’t Panic.  

Alas, if you have not yet read The Guide, you should pick yourself up a copy of this book and read through it.  I can assure you, so long as you have a decent sense of humor, you will not be disappointed. 

Oh yes.  I almost forgot.  A public thank you to Hoomoo and Kaize for their support, and for taking the time to head my advertising campaign.  I owe you big time. 

This blog entry is dedicated to anyone who happened to pull the short straw in life.  It happens to all of us every now and again, but some people get it more than others.  I would say that things will get better with time, but that’s usually not the case.

In ancient Greek mythology, there existed three sisters who spun, measured and cut the thread of life.  These sisters were referred to as the Moirae, but in modern times, they are known as The Fates.  It is not clear how dominant their role in a person’s life was, and there are various versions of their myths.  Some believe that they merely determined the length of a person’s life while others believe that everything that occurred within a lifetime was predetermined.  Personally, I have a simple attraction to ancient mythology.  That’s all.

I do, however, find myself secretly wondering if there is such a thing as fate.  Can it be that sometimes, something can occur within your life that has reason beyond that which you are aware?  Can something be ‘bound to happen’, much like the characters from Shakespeare’s plays believe?  Similarly, is there such thing as Karma?  Can good things happen for decent people?  I have an aversion to such notions.  I tend to think about life logically and scientifically, and I avoid believing in predetermined destiny.  Our entire existence can easily be attributed to random mistakes and mutations; events that occur erratically that eventually lead to life.  I don’t believe that someone can get hit by a car because that is their destiny; they just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Why am I talking about The Fates if I don’t believe in them?  The answer is simple: It explains so much.  To say that some things are ‘destined to be’ eases the human burden slightly.  “Why did I get fired?  Because that was my destiny.”  It’s almost pathetic that we can convince ourselves to believe that getting fired had nothing to do with our incompetence.  Almost.  There is still the small part of our brain that wants to believe that some things are out of our hands.  Some things in life are not our fault. 

My point:  Bad things happen to good people.  Cliche, I know, but still very true.  I would love to believe in karma–to think that if I try to be good, I will benefit in the future.  Unfortunately, I have never seen a case of this holding true.  More often than not, I’ve seen people burdened with fates that they did not deserve.  I have witnessed people who had no control over what occurred become unlucky.  There are many incidences that prove this theory, both in history and drastic events, and in everyday life.  There is, however, one anecdote that rings true as I remember something that I had seen recently.

I know a couple who are happy, loving, and care deeply about each other.  They are good looking, smart, kind-hearted, and all-around decent people.  They have a love for life and they appreciate everything around them.  Somehow, they wound up with the worst possible child. 

The child is disobedient beyond normal for his age.  He is so rude to his generous parents, that they don’t even know how to respond.  The child is unintelligent, which is very surprising due to the genetic makeup of the couple.  He refuses to apply himself and the result is failure at every attempt or endeavour.  Because of his lack of application, he has established a negative attitude towards life and speaks very dark words that his parents really don’t deserve to hear.  How could a perfect couple wind up with such a child?  Surely the chances of this offspring arising from the couple are astronomical.  Could it be that fate had condemned the happy husband and wife to a lifetime of misery, simply because they were content with their lives? 

I can not say whether or not I believe in fate, to be honest.  As I have said, I’ve seen many instances where it appears that bad things tend to happen to good people.  Perhaps this is a mere coincidence, or perhaps I am overly biased, and can not see the bright side of the situation.  Either way, some people have been given life-sentences that they do not deserve.  And I am really, truly sorry. 

 This blog entry is dedicated to Megan.  I promised you a mushy picture.  Well, this is as mushy as I get.

Today, I underwent an extremely traumatizing experience that may cloud my judgement and the way I see the world for the rest of my pathetic existence.  Unfortunately, I was forced to endure what may be considered to many people in my situation as a redefinition of ‘Hell’.  Let me put this into terms that you can understand.  Imagine a book.  A very bad book.  This book has no depth and little plot development, and is considered on the low end of trash novels.  It is four hundred pages of a girl moping about a guy, and is considered a teen novel even when the vocabulary is hardly stimulating for a grade three student.  It is a book that causes the reader to wonder why the author did not have the decency to pick up a thesaurus and find another word for “dazzling” and several other redundant terms.  NOW imagine that this book was turned into a movie.  On top of that, while the idea for the movie had a very slight amount of potential, the actors were terribly cast, the plot was slaughtered, the context was altered in a negative manner, and the entire film was tinted with blue for the entirety for the show.  On top of that, allow this movie to play in a large dark room filled with screaming teenage girls.  Firstly, why are there teenage girls watching this movie when it is based on such a juvenile book, and secondly, why must the teenage girls scream? 

I suppose that is what happens when you allow yourself to be dragged to see Twilight. 

Yes, I have seen Twilight in theatres.  I feel the need to purge my system before going to bed tonight as not to stimulate reoccurring nightmares.  Perhaps some Heroes may allow me to clear my mind of the horror that I underwent. 

On a slightly more positive note, this is the first time that I am ever adding my art to the blog.  There is a very high chance that it will be removed in the near future due to the fact that it sucks, but for now, it will remain open for the entire world to see on the internet.  This was drawn in response to a promise that I should never have made, so I hope that the person responsible for this random drawing enjoys it.  To my dismay, my scanner decided that faint lines and shading was unimportant, while random smudges on the paper deserved to be emphasized.  It is for this reason that the drawing looks slightly better in real life than on the computer.  (Key word: Slightly.)  For the record, I hate scanners.  I can’t wait until I get a tablet.  If I get one. 

Please no hate messages or unconstructive criticisms.  I’m hard enough on myself as it is, so I don’t need you telling me how ugly my picture looks.  I’m well aware of that fact. 

Thanks.   

 Edward and Bella from Twilight:

Materials: Printing paper and mechanical pencil

Approximate amount of time:  <30 min.

This blog entry is dedicated to Ruby. As an advanced warning, normal people may have difficulty understanding parts of this entry.  If you are not on the ‘geeky’ side of the spectrum, you may need to pass on this one.

The other day, I was having a conversation with someone.  Surprising, I know, but it actually happened.  While in this conversation, the topic of geeky-ness came up.  Naturally, I had regarded myself as a geek up until this point, for obvious reasons.  I have always had an interest in Science Fiction as a genre, and I have been involved in several ‘geeky’ activities in the past, such as [(M)MO]RPGs, various card games, and games that revolve around miniatures.  However, something that was said in this conversation sparked a thought in my mind.  Now, days later, the thought remains there, unspoken and undisturbed.  

The person who I was talking with had said “You aren’t really a geek.  You just like to be a geek.”  My first reaction involves words that I do not feel comfortable typing on my PG13 blog, but, suppressing those thoughts, I asked the speaker what they had meant by their comment.  This is what I learned:

Until now, I thought that I was geeky because I liked geeky things.  According to this person, I like geeky things BECAUSE they are geeky.  Interesting theory?

Allow me to paraphrase in order to make this understandable to both you and me.  Let X represent things that are considered geeky, such as Star Trek, Stargate, Isaac Asimov books, D&D, MMORPGs, Warmachine/Warhammer, Warcraft, Comicon, etc.  In general, a person is considered a ‘geek’ if they enjoy X.  Apparently, I enjoy X in order to be considered a geek.  

I feel that it is my turn to stand up for myself.  I understand that I am more open about my ‘geeky-ness’ than most people are, but that does not make me a poser.  I enjoy Isaac Asimov because he is a good writer who has the ability to combine wit with creativity, and because he paved the path that lead toward modern science fiction.  To understand Asimov is to have a base knowledge of science fiction–The ideas that he conceived are used, even today, in most decent science fiction literature.  I enjoy Stargate and Star Trek because they are good shows that explore the idea of science in a way that can not be imagined by humans at this point in our existence.  We have no way to travel through time.  We can’t use beaming technology to lock onto heat signatures and transport beings or objects into spaceships.  We don’t even have spaceships.  On top of that, there is generally good character development within many science fiction series, which make them interesting to watch.  And, to be honest, any show that lasts through that many seasons HAS to be good. 

I enjoy model based games because of the building and painting mostly.  I don’t mind playing the game, and the game itself often involves strategy and quick thinking, but the biggest problem for me is the fact that they can take hours to complete.  I simply don’t have the time for that.  (To anyone about to argue the fact that painting does, in fact, take hours to complete as well, I understand that, but I also know that going back to a painted model and completing it is easier than going back to a game and completing it.)

I like MORPGs because I have found a specific type that appeals to my interests: Text-based RPGs.  A text based role playing game, to those of you who don’t know, is a role-playing game where everything done, everything said, the environment, the mood, etc., is all written out.  Because everything is in writing, the whole RPG ends up sounding like a story that switches from character to character periodically.  As you can tell by the fact that I am writing in a blog, I enjoy writing very much.  The fact that I can bounce ideas off of other people, write in the point of view of a character, and have the creativity of another person added to the ’story’ makes text-based role playing games something that I enjoy. 

I would continue discussing the reasons why I enjoy each of the ‘geeky’ things that I like, but I think that I have already made my point.  I don’t like X because I want to be a geek, I am a geek because I like X.  I have a specific reason for each and every ‘geeky’ thing that I like.  There are many things that are ‘geeky’ that I generally tend to avoid.  I am not a geek poser.  Period.  If anyone ever says that again, they may be forced to feel my wrath. 

Ruby, I hope you are still reading this.  Don’t take anything that I said to heart.

This blog entry is dedicated to a person who I have only met once before. This person has inspired me to think about something that would otherwise not have crossed my mind.

Clothing is essential in expressing one’s individuality and personality. What a person wears is usually determined by the way that he/she acts. Clothing styles tend to depend on how comfortable a person is with his/her body. For example, extremely low tops on girls or bright pink fitted shirts on guys versus conservative necklines and dark baggy shirts. However, the younger generation of today is changing rapidly, and clothing styles no longer fully express individual personalities.

The youth of today are what I like to refer to as sheep. They follow the leader of a crowd and can assimilate themselves in order to ‘fit in’. This assimilation process prevents individuality from showing through, and causes kids be indistinguishable. As well, there is the circumstance of private schools, where although students may wish to express their unique personalities, it is not permissible according to school standards. In both cases, kids tend to find a way to wear clothing appropriate to their personalities in very inconspicuous locations. This leads to my main point:

What does a person’s underwear say about them?

Random, I know, but not a question to be taken lightly. If a guy dresses casual and masculine on the outside, but is wearing pink boxers underneath, what does it say about him? If a girl acts tough and aggressive in her day-to-day life, but wears pink lacy panties, what is she really like inside? Do people get dressed in the morning with the intentions of showing someone their underwear? (Let’s hope that this last statement is not directed towards the kids that were previously mentioned.) Why else would a person put such an effort into choosing a design that goes underneath clothing?

The first point to discuss is boxers. Boxers are fun. To be honest, I have boxers with cartoon characters hidden somewhere in that undergarment drawer. But after recent thought, I began to wonder what’s the point of wearing boxers like that? It’s not as if I’m planning to pull my pants down in public, or announce to coworkers that my boxers have Popeye.

Perhaps cartoon boxers imply that a guy is young at heart. Or perhaps they indicate that the man wearing them simply does not get enough action. What about pink boxers? Is the guy simply getting in touch with his feminine side, or did his mother pick out the boxers for him?

The same analysis can be done with girls as well. I have known many girls that appear quite flirtatious, but despite this, continue to wear conservative underwear. Or there is the girl who wants to give the impression that she means business, and yet underneath her iron suit lies flowers or hearts.

It’s interesting to consider the implications of personality on underwear choice. This is something to ponder in the future next time I’m getting dressed in the morning. So next time you go shopping for underwear, or tomorrow morning when you’re getting dressed, don’t forget to take a look at your underwear. Why did you purchase it? What is its significance? What does it say about you?

In general, people are more than they appear on the outside. True, each individual has a different heart, different ideals, and different personalities, but that’s not what I mean. I am trying to imply that it is the part of clothing that people tend not to show others that dictates the inner most feelings of a person. How do you know what a person is really like? Try checking out their underwear.