I plan to keep this simple and to the point because not only am I horrible at saying goodbye, but I never enjoy reading sappy material.
This year has been a major turning point in my life for several reasons. I have developed both as a writer and as a person, and both changes are clearly evident within this blog. However, this entry is not directed toward any regular readers, but rather, to each and every person who has decided to become a part of my life within this year.
I have had the opportunity to get to know many people over the course of this year; people who I would have otherwise never had the chance to meet. Thank you for reaching out and accepting me, and showing kindness despite my prevailing negative attitude and the dark aura that seemed to hover constantly over my head. It must be tough living with Eyore, but I appreciate the effort to help me break out of my shell and all of your attempts at raising my spirits. When you guys are gone, I will have to re-learn how to stand on my own, without the loving crutches that you allowed me to rely on. Despite the fact that I have difficulty connecting with other people on an emotional level, I find myself attached to you guys in a way that I had never thought possible. I would appreciate it if you guys all continued to keep in contact with me and remained my companions for at least a little bit longer.
For the first time this year, I released my inhibitions and allowed people to enter my heart. Sometimes my heart was treated with care, sometimes it was jostled around, sometimes it was passed on like a hackey-sack, and sometimes it was broken to pieces. However, just like a clay cup, occasionally an object must be broken in order to strengthen it. Thank you to those of you who searched the ground for the broken pieces, who spent long hours, day and night, attempting to assemble them the way they were, and to the few people who realized that although some pieces were missing, it was possible to put it back together in a different way. It still beats with love and passion unlike that which I’ve felt before, however the cracks and seams make it the unique object that it has become. Because of each and every one of you, my heart is forever changed.
To those who noticed when something went wrong: Thank you. I used to consider myself a decent actor, able to hide certain things from the people around me. This year, my act faltered slightly, and although it was clear that I was not as strong as I had once been, very few people noticed the inability to function that slowly consumed my unwavering stoic attitude. Even fewer people actually cared. And only one or two tried to fix it. It is thanks to you that I am alive at this point. I made it. Hooray?
All in all, I just wanted to say that I will miss being here with you guys, despite the fact that I am FULLY ready to leave. Please, please, pretty please don’t forget me. I have been changed by you, mostly for the better, but absolutely for good. I am now and always will be yours, and you will all be a part of me. Good luck in the future, and enjoy the rest of your lives. To the people who taught me how to love: Goodbye.
For the record, never, ever again am I writing something that revoltingly mushy.
